If You Hurt Her
by Artiste007
Summary: T to be safe, I'm almost certain it's going to stay K  I think its pretty self-evident... but Rose and Scorpius decide to tell people they are dating, and hilarity and death threats ensue.
1. Prologue

If You Hurt Her…

**First Things First:** This is an apology to all the people who tried reading my stuff…. SO, guys I'm really, really, sorry. Like seriously, I would be royally pissed if someone started a story that sounded good (if I say so myself) and discontinued it. That is what I did, isn't it? Anyway, see the thing is, I suck at actually finishing stuff (it's a bad habit of mine) and the thing with the Dare Story was that I lost it. If you haven't read it yet, don't because trust me, you'll be disappointed. I'm not gonna make any promises but I'm going to try to get back to it… FOR NOW: Enjoy!

**Summary: **Rose and Scorpius come out. And of course many I'll send you to hell and back's ensue.

_Disclaimer: Just a lazy author with an idea and too lazy to come up with own universe and characters. Definitely not the awesomely awesome J.K… ( I Love Barney, not the dinosaur) Kudos to anyone who gets the reference!_

Dedication: This is dedicated to makoshark…except she has no idea. And now, without further ado

Prologue

"You smell good."

"Mhm? . . . thank you. . . ?"

"Yeah, like some flower. . . and ooh! Chocolate-chip cookies, the fresh-out -of-the-oven grandma-baked kind, not house-elves. Mind you, it took my grandma a while to actually figure out how to get the cookies right."

"That's nice."

"You know what else you smell like?"

"No, I couldn't guess, no."

"Something from potions—not slime or dried bugs or anything. Like, like. . . "

"Essence of rose?"

"Yeah, and lavender. HEY, that's the flower—rose, with a hint of orange blossoms!"

"Gee, thanks. You smell good too."

"Yeah?

Merlin! You…you smell like my Amortentia potion…"

"What? Really?"

"Hey… does that mean I love you?"

"Wait…you don't?"

"I mean, well I do. And this just confirms it doesn't it? That we're meant to be together?"

"I never said I smelled you"

"You DON"T? But, why? I thought I was your one true love"

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing. So what do you smell?"

"Chicken. Grass on a rainy day with muddy tracks and broom tracks all over it. The locker room after a victory. Butterbeer. Chocolate, the kind that is given with love from someone special. The Burrow on Christmas. My dad on a cold day. Vanilla. Burning incense"

"Oh. …sounds like her quidditch captain. Stupid bloke"

"And a laundry, clean linen smell. Ooh… and pine and the surf. With a hint of manly orange and manly coconut."

"Hey, that's not funny! It's not my fault _your cousin_ decided to get me a fruity cologne for my birthday. He's confiscated all of my cologne except for the one that was almost done. And now I have to wear both of them to keep my dignity"

"What dignity?"

"I won't even _dignify_ that with a response"

"And its _Tropical_ and I for one, like it."

"Oh. Well then. So you do love me."

"Yes, you doofus." (A/N: Do the British say such? People unfamiliar w/ the word: it's an affectionate way of saying idiot."

"You know, it's time"

"Ahahahaha. Ahahahah. Wait, wait, wait, there's more. Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Okay, go on."

"You're done?"

"No. Aha haha. Almost. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Haha!"

"Sheesh, woman."

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm laughing?"

"No"

"I'll tell you anyway"

"I thought as much"

"You think Slytherins are bad? What about _my cousin, your best friend_?"

"Well. I'll admit. He is a slimy git."

"The rest are worse. At least together… WOW! I can't wait!"

"Wait… what?"

"My dear boy, are you up for it. It's gonna be hilarious, hilarious I say!"

"Nice to know I amuse you."

"You always do"

"You know, if only you didn't amuse me as well…"

"Then what?"

"Then I would go around looking for strumpets to carry off."

"Well, it's a good thing I do amuse you isn't it?"

**A/N:** Well, I think the people are obvious, it says their names everywhere but I wanted it to be a mystery. ( I failed) I sorta made the conversation flow like I imagine real ones to—they go all over the place. I also purposefully didn't include any actions. I want to see what you guys think. Review and tell me—like Scorpius was totally sniffing Rose at the beginning. And, I imagined Rose saying, Scorpy, my dear boy…

Also, kudos to everyone who gets my references.

So, my sister read this and she said I made Scorpius smell like my best (guy) friend. But I haven't smelled him in a while so maybe I miss his smell? That sounds creepy. Well, I've decided to dedicate this to him too. REVIEW! WITH ideas, thoughts, and guesses, criticisms and angry words also work. Kay, bye!


	2. Help!

**For Annie: See, I didn't take a month like w/ my other one. And, I went back to it, and I have no idea how to go on. So far I have the Marauders breakfasting. Any ideas?**

**Disclaimer:** Do I need to disclaim every chapter? Anyway, all to J.K.

Help!

"Albus, we need to talk."

"Okay… So, what's up?"

"You know how Rose and I are going out?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know how your family is a little scary right?"

"A little scary? Scorp, do you remember what happened to Jack?"

Scorpius stared at Albus questioningly.

"McLaggen." He added.

"Wait, the Gryffindor? That was _you guys_? I thought you were all ethical."

"Um…no. We obviously are not when it comes to family. Did you know, all the adults participated too?"

"Er… poor guy. He looked terrible for months."

"Yeah, it was fun." Albus said nostalgically. "We went easy on him."

"That was _easy_?"

"Of course, his life wasn't ruined or anything. He was rather unfortunate looking for a while, and subject to some rather unfortunate events. Along with rude glares and… But that was it, really."

"_That was it?_ The poor dude could barely get out of his room. He still barely leaves his room. And he looks horrid. He used to be such a handsome fellow too. And the stuff you guys did—"

"Seriously Scorpius, it's not our fault the guys afraid of breakfast… and birds—actually the birds might be—and we didn't do any permanent damage. Everything wrong with his face, he did it to himself. And you have nothing to worry about unless you do something wrong."

"Which Jack did?"

"Yup"

"What exactly did he do?" Scorpius asked with a gulp.

"Well… so he and Molly were going out right? And they realized they weren't good for each other and that it just wasn't working. And then they both started liking another person—his liked him back, Molly's, I think he _pretended_ not to."

"That's right, how could anyone not like a _Weasley_"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No, just stating facts" Scorpius said resigned.

"Anyway Jack was really scared of us. Like seriously scared. Shame, him being in Gryffindor and all. I really don't think he's a bad guy. He probably wasn't that scared of us, separately but together, we Weasleys—and Potters, are a force to be reckoned with"

"Gee thanks, you're so reassuring"

"No problem. So anyway, Molly wrote him a break-up letter, which is cold, I know, but she thought he would understand. Well, for some weird reason, probably because she was so far away at the time and because the owl was defective, it took forever to arrive. In the meantime, he didn't want to dump her, in fear of incurring our wrath and they sorta made up or something. And then, according to his new crush, Betty something or other 'he's sooo hot. He is like sooo into me. We were like tohtally macking, ahnd, the Wheasley's have nho ideha' so we had to do something."

"I had no idea you were so good at Valspeak."

"What? Anyway, Betty whoever was _soo phrouhd_ of herself that we had to do something to shut her up. And Jack? He turned out to be a lot worse than we thought. Now that I remember, he's an arse. Forget that I said he was okay. Molly decided to try things out to not break his heart and he goes around snogging Betty whatshername in the _common room_. In front of a billion Weasleys. With Molly present. I don't think he realized, and then he had the nerve to tell her it was just a side thing, that he really cared about her but that 'a guy has needs, and she can't just go around expecting that only one girl, especially her can fulfill all of them'. It was hilarious too, because just then, her owl appeared knocking on his window and all Molly did was smirk while he read a letter that she wrote weeks ago. She went all 'after all a girl has needs, and you can't do shit' Molly, I kid you not! And then he yelled at her and would've almost hit her too, but James had followed them and was waiting outside Jack's dorm and when he heard things get rowdy he went in and punched Jack. "

"Wow."

"You know, later when we were all fussing over Molly, she said he would've never hit her… which is true I suppose. But, he got really close, and even if he was just going to grab her and shake her, James did the right thing."

"So how did all that stuff happen?"

"Oh, Molly had brought Jack over for dinner that year. We knew she didn't _really_ like him because it wasn't Christmas dinner, but everybody got to meet him. You didn't cause it wasn't like a formal serious thing or anything. It was just a regular first night at Burrow dinner. The only non-blood relation there was him. Oh yeah, and Teddy, but he's practically blood. No really liked him too much, so all the adults—as in Dad, Granddad and the uncles called him into a room and threatened him. After the incident, they felt they had to go through with it—and everyone participated, for good measure."

"Seriously your family is not cool."

"My family is very cool."

"It's not _normal_ for family to be that close. I mean parents and normal siblings aren't as close as all of you are with your extended family. I mean seriously, I bet there's twins out there who aren't as close as all of you _cousins_ are with each other."

"Yeah, we are fiercely protective and familial. And we're not anything if not not normal" Albus added with a glint.

"So everyone participated?"

"Everyone. I think Granddad and everyone were actually quite excited to cause _harmless_ danger. Us, not so much. We are good with harm. Even Lucy participated. The aunts were a little hesitant because he's only a _boy_ so they decided to prank the parents instead."

"Ouch. Even Mrs. Weasley? I mean Rose's mom."

"Yup. Let's start from the beginning. Grandpa got him an unridikulable boggart to go. It was those little 3D cellphone things. Jack never realized that all he had to do was turn it off, or put it away—he carried it everywhere. Oh yeah, Hugo did something similar, except he got him glasses that he couldn't take off and whenever he closed his eyes, he saw his worst made him bad cookies and while she wasn't looking, Molly added worse stuff to it. It was really funny too. Grandmum wrote him a letter that said it was a shame he wouldn't be a part of the family and how she hopes he could enjoy her cookies one last time. Because of Molly, he didn't realize how bad the cookies were until he swallowed the very last crumb. He was in the bathroom more than he was out that month. He was positively green and purple. And—"

"Wait, that's not enough? There's more?"

"That's only 3 people. We were having fun, not just ruining him so _every single one of us_ participated"

"Ughh… you guys and your fun."

"Hey, at least we didn't make the significant others and best friends participate."

"Why? It sounds fun."

" It was, but that's just cruel."

"Do me a favor? Don't tell me the rest."

"Don't worry, I will, but later. You're scared enough for today"

**A/N:** Do the English say cookies? I think they might say biscuits, oh well. Anyway, sorry it took a while to upload. I kind of got distracted—good fanfics, the library—you guys know how distracting that stuff is.


	3. The Talks

**Thank's for the reviews you two! Yay for sofiiaa too for favoriting! Did I mention how makoshark's and Annie1129's reviews make me want to write more? Well, here's to them!**

The Talk(s)

"Hey, Jack"

"And you are…?"

"Oh, hi, I'm Scorpius. Scorpius Malfoy" Jack ignored him. "So, I was just wondering, how are you doing?"

"Just leave me alone, will you? Guy can't take a hint. Just because he wants to be part of the _family_. Probably here to torture me. …James…setup. Stupid…Molly…cousin…" Scorpius lost the rest of Jack's mumblings.

"That went well."

"Scorpius, I'm just wondering, why did you go talk to him?"

"Because I feel sorry for him, Al."

"That doesn't look good to the rest of us. Look at Dominique—she's sending you glares as we speak."

"Then who should I talk to, besides the two of you?"

"Why anyone?"

"Because I need to be prepared."

"Seriously Scorp, it's not that big of a deal. We all yell at you once and threaten your life along with a multitude of things such as genitalia and that's that. That's how we welcome people."

"I'm sorry for not seeing this as _completely harmless_, are you trying to tell me you guys don't bother to well, bother guys a little before they actually do something so they know what's in store?"

"Well, we do, but it's not that bad. Look, if you really want to be _prepared_ and all, go talk to the guys who are probably going to end up marrying the girls."

"But they're _scary_."

"That's why they survived."

"The only talktoable ones are Teddy and the Scamanders."

"Yeah, about that. Teddy is going to be on our side and they're not like you. Teddy and the Scamanders were family. They still are. Anyways, as in love Lorc and Ly are with Lily and Lucy, they haven't acted on it yet."

"So I have to talk to like Collin Woods and Jordan and Finnigan?" Scorpius asked with a gulp.

"Yeah, you're best bet is probably Finnigan, he looks the least harmless though all three of them are really cool."

"Okay, I can do this. I will do this, for Rose"

"Yo, Malfoy. What's up?" It was just Scorpius' luck that Jordan decided to speak up. At least all three of them were together.

Jordan was probably the scariest. He was pretty big. He wasn't that much taller than Scorpius but he was well built. Instead of the lean muscles most quidditch players sported, Bill Jordan was built like a dragontrainer—all thick muscles and zero body fat. His muscles showed through even when he was wearing clothes few sizes too large, that coupled with his height was formidable indeed. Not to mention his buzz-cut hair and multiple earrings—but he knew how to pull it off, he was actually handsome in a rugged way. He looked more fit to be Roxanne's boyfriend than Molly's though. Molly was all about prim-ness, proper-ness, and propriety. Jordan? Not so much. But it was obvious they belonged together and he was actually really smart, so they had a lot to talk about. Usually, they always took opposite views, even when they agreed for the sake of debate. Scorpius would never understand them.

Collin was built more like Scorpius. He was just as tall with lean muscles (maybe just a _bit_ bigger than Scorpius'.) Collin had a tan so he wasn't nearly as pale as Scorpius(not too many people were) and his hair wasn't platinum blond, it was a sandy, light brown. He and Dominique made more sense, they were like the same person in two bodies—one tall and muscular, the other shorter and curvier.

Connor Fiinnegan was, by far, the most approachable (if judged by looks only.) He was shorter that Scorpius by more than a few inches and his muscles weren't overtly obvious (unless you saw him shirtless and wondered if he was harder than a rock and how was it even possible to be _that_ chiseled.) His personality, on the other hand, was like spitfire (must be the Irish blood) and matched Roxanne perfectly.

"Er…, um—"

Connor spoke up," I bet he's her for the talk," he said deviously.

"Talk, what talk?" Scorpius asked with uncertainty. How had he thought this was a good idea? No wonder they survived, they were all vicious Gryffindors in love. Granted, Scorpius was in love too, but he was neither vicious nor a Gryffindor. He was a Slytherin going against all Slytherins stood for, self-preservation.

"Oh, you know the one we thought we would give to future Weasley-chasers. We knew that this day would come when Rose's, Lily's and Lucy's boyfriends will wonder, 'what have I gotten myself into?'" Collin explained.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. Give the poor boy a break, he's younger than us, so it will probably be easier for him," said Bill, trying to alleviate the pressure.

"Speak for yourself, William. I for one thought it was terrible! Did you see the way Roxanne's dad was staring at me the whole night? Planning the perfect prank. And it's going to be worse for Scorpy boy. He's a Slytherin, a Malfoy, not to mention, he's dating precious Rose."

"It's not going to be that bad. You guys are only 14, it's not supposed to be that big a deal so all you'll probably get are glares from everyone and all the pranks and stuff will be the kids… and Teddy," reassured Collin.

"I don't think so. They are going to be worse because he's 14. There are more chances for Rosie dearest to be hurt."

"Wow, Connor. Now I know why you and Roxy are so good together."

"We are, if I say so myself."

"So here's all you need to know, you know to survive…" started Bill.

**A/N:** Don't worry, everything that happened to Jack and the all of the advice will come out eventually. This was originally supposed to be the first chapter, then every chapter being one person threatning Scorpius but then I got lost in the background. So I guess I am establishing my next-gen OC's and all the characteristics I suppose. Remember to review! (And Annie, I'm still waiting for suggestions you know, for the T&D one)


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